Since becoming a mom, I’ve noticed that so many people like to ignore when something doesn’t go text book perfectly when it comes to parenting. No one talks about how hard it is to be a mom. I don’t mean the “oh my kid was completely crazy all day” kind of hard. I’m talking about at the end of the day when you get your child to sleep and you lock yourself in a closet and cry your eyes out because you have absolutely nothing left to give. No one talks about the hurt that comes with being a parent. No one talks about how hard it is to be a mom to a baby you never got to hold. You don’t ever hear about the ones wanting to be a parent worse than anything else and not being able to.
Over the last few years I’ve had one son. I’ve also had 4 miscarriages and lost 5 babies. I’m currently pregnant with a little girl and almost through my second trimester. Had I been asked three months ago if I thought I would be pregnant now I would have said no. It’s these hard topics that people seem to cringe when they hear them. No one wants to hear about pregnancy struggles. Everyone just wants to know “what color are you going to do the nursery,” “is it a girl or boy,” “do you have a name yet?”
I’m done pretending like everything is just peaches when it comes to pregnancy and parenting. It’s freaking hard!
My Miscarriage Story
About two and a half years ago my husband and I were just dating and I had been feeling really off so I went to the doctor’s office. I was shocked to find out that I was currently having a miscarriage. It was such a surreal thing at the time. We hadn’t been trying to get pregnant and I actually had no idea that I was. I honestly did not know how to process what I was feeling. I knew it was sad but I never had the time to acknowledge that I was having a baby so I wasn’t necessarily devastated. As cold as it may sound I moved on rather quickly.
Finally Some Happy
Later that same year I became pregnant with our son. We were so excited. I remember the day we found out we could barely contain ourselves and ended up telling our families almost immediately. Our previous miscarriage crossed my mind but I didn’t really have too many nerves with it. I was currently in nursing school and knew the statistics of what typically caused miscarriage. I really did not stress about it. Thankfully (despite one heck of a pregnancy) our son was born happy, healthy, and on time. While our son was still very young we decided we only want two kids and we want them relatively close together.
Starting our Roller Coaster
We became pregnant shortly after. When I was only about 8 weeks pregnant I went to the bathroom and there was a ton of blood. I knew immediately what was happening and it felt like all the wind had been taking out of my lungs. Now I knew what it was like to have a connection with my son and having this miscarriage hit me much harder than the previous one had. I went to the doctor and found out that after having my son I had developed scar tissue on my cervix and that was going to make it quite hard for me to stay pregnant in the future. We felt devastated but decided we still wanted another baby.
Call it hope or optimism but we tried again. We were shocked to find out that we were expecting twins! I remember going to a 4th of July event with a bunch of family and being absolutely miserable but so excited. If I was sick it meant that I was still pregnant and everything was going like it was supposed to. Unfortunately, again at about 10 weeks I miscarried our babies. I felt so isolated because we had decided against telling any family about this pregnancy. I was upset no one knew my babies existed. My husband was there for me but seeing days like their due date come and go and having to put on a smile ripped my heart out because no one had any idea.
My Hardest Blow
Because of this, with our next pregnancy we made the decision to go ahead and tell our families. We were so excited because we found out we were pregnant and due within two weeks of both of my sister-in-laws! I could not have been any more joyous to be able to be pregnant with these two women. Then, two weeks before Christmas I had another miscarriage. Honestly, I think this one hurt more than any of the others. I had to go to the baby showers. I had to see the pregnancy updates. Then see the baby bumps that were growing and know that we should be right there too but we weren’t. I felt like if I even showed I was sad that it would stress my sister-in-laws out and I did not want that at all.
Where are we now?
Several months later I became pregnant with our daughter, Olivia. Now I’m 28 weeks pregnant and our peanut is healthy.
I want to tell these stories not because I want sympathy. I feel like so many people see miscarriages as isolated incidents. It’s like it’s something that happens and you never think about it again in other’s eyes. One in four pregnancies end if miscarriages. What people don’t realize that this does not mean that all women only get one miscarriage out of four pregnancies. Many women have multiple miscarriages and many women don’t have any at all. Lots of women never say a word about it either.
“Just Stop Trying”
This phrase is uttered so many times to women who are wanting to have a baby. I see “just stop trying” plastered all over mom groups on Facebook every day! Unfortunately, this is not a cure all. Some people really do have to try very very hard to have a baby. Couples need actual advice!
Improving your own health can truly change your chances of conceiving and having a healthy pregnancy.
5 Healthy Changes to Increase Fertility
Start taking prenatal vitamins now!
Yes BEFORE you’re pregnant. Studies show that if you begin taking prenatals before you conceive your chances for a healthy pregnancy increase drastically. Plus many women say that prenatal vitamins make them more nauseous. Taking these vitamins before conceiving can acclimate your body to the nutrients they provide before you get the rush of crazy hormones.
Drinking alcohol can decrease fertility. Plus if you’re drinking before you know you’re pregnant there is a chance the alcohol could harm the fetus.
Try to maintain a healthy weight
Being obese or underweight can both impact your hormones drastically. By maintaining a healthy BMI your chances of conceiving and having a healthy pregnancy increase.
I know this one sounds a little weird but bear with me. Studies show that stress can throw off your menstrual cycles and decrease fertility. Meditating is a great way to help cope with stress and therefore increase fertility.
Realize that sometimes you may need a little help getting pregnant
There are so many different options out there to help people conceive now. Some of them unfortunately can be quite pricey. Luckily technology in this industry is improving day by day and there are now some at home devices that can greatly increase your chances of getting pregnant.
The Stork OTC is an at home medical device that helps you get pregnant. This device is a “cervical cap inseminator.” Basically what that means is that this device helps keep the sperm near your cervix after having sex in order to increase your chances of becoming pregnant.
When I first heard about this device I thought it was absolutely genius! A question that I see all the time from moms is “should I keep my legs up in the air after sex to try to get pregnant?” The Stork OTC takes that guess work out of it! This device is great for men diagnosed with low sperm motility, low sperm count or women with an unfavorable vaginal environment. While this cap is not 100% (nothing is) it does in fact increase your chances of conceiving drastically. (In 85% of couples the sperm concentration on the cervix was 3.23X higher!)
The absolute best thing about The Stork OTC is that it can be purchased over the counter and online. Plus now through the end of August get 25% off your purchase in the online store! That means no doctors visits!
If purchasing online is not your style, the Stork OTC is available at select Target stores nation wide. Also from 8/6/17-8/19/17 at Target you can Buy 1 Stork OTC, Get 1 Stork OTC for 50%!
If you have any questions about this product or just want to interact with some wonderful people who understand your fertility struggles come join us on August 17th at 8PM EST for a Twitter Party! Use the hashtag #TTCwithStorkOTC.